This morning I had a phone call. A phone call such as I’ve never experienced before. The owl candle’s expression above? That’s my face. I am still in shock.
It was a GLORIOUS phone call! A call in which, after decades of having worked on world building and writing when I could, and finishing something, and sending it out in the world tremulously…a call that thrilled me to my core.
I must preface any further commentary by saying that nothing is in stone. But the feedback and energy behind the connection I made today just reiterated how so many years of work were worth it. And it does not stop there! I still have more work to do, and fortunately this individual encouraged me to keep on doing that. But hearing excitement over something I made, myself, over a now 30+ years writing journey? I am that owl. My eyes must surely have grown into small balloons, to waft me skyward. That is how I feel at this moment.
Where does it all lead? Perhaps nowhere. But the fuel is there, to keep lifting me higher, to keep me on task for forging ahead regardless of the outcome, and to keep making connections.
This is a grand day, yet there are chores to do. And it’s a good thing they are, as I’ve got to bring myself back to the moments that still matter. And I’ll steep in gratitude for those who have believed in me and supported me in my work. It’s my hope that I can return the favor.
I can’t promise you, though, that I won’t remain owl-eyed for the rest of the day at least!
Avocados: the koans of the produce world.
Pause for a moment with me and consider. These little dragon egg “butter pears” never arrive perfectly in our lives. Warty, lumpy, sometimes stunted; we would not immediately call them beauties. How judgmental of us! For when an avocado hits its peak ripeness, its interior reveals a smooth, dreamy green. And it nourishes us and pleases us. It is versatile as well. Not a day goes by without seeing an avocado-based dessert or smoothie. It’s not all about the guacamole.
But it kind of is.
For when we buy these oval wonders, we often have to wait.
And wait some more.
And then we must HURRY! Hurry now, before the avocado turns brown!
Such a small little window.
Isn’t that like life? We wait. We wait for feedback on something. We wait for summer. We wait for a call or a text, and then realize we did not feel this way before something introduced the need for the waiting.
I was not wanting these avocados so badly until I had to wait for them to ripen! That is a koan.
Appreciate that your efforts will bear fruit, even if there might be a bit of a rush when it all begins to happen. Pause for a moment and savor that fruit.
These times call for avocado lessons.
At this moment, I’m resting. I had been going nonstop for four hours: school, errands, cleaning, hastily wolfing down food so I wouldn’t slide onto a floor or implode with a hangry attitude. Now I’m sitting down, and in a few minutes I’ll have to jump back up again for a very busy afternoon.
I was stewing a bit on writing tactics. Where do I go from here? Should I sign up for this one publishing class? (I did.) Should I run forward a bit with this new short story I’m working on? (Of course.) But I admit I’ve been really in the weeds lately. Had I waited too long to go forward with everything? Time and trends change. Self doubt creeps in.
But I stopped myself and realized why I was doing this. I built a world. Not just one, but several worlds, in fact. I spent late childhood and my teens and my adult life working on building all of this. School and a career (and changing a career) kept it on the back burner (although my writing skills advanced all of those). Yet still I worked on it, when I could. I realize now that I could not have stopped, because writing is what I’ve known most of my life. It helped me get through so many turbulent times. It gave me an outlet when I had no other. It gave me a way in which to describe the places and the people I had dreamed up. Now I have more options, but the writing proceeds. It is as much of me as the fingers I use to type this. It is as much of me as the art I have also made. It is as much of me as the foods I make for those I love. It is, simply, me.
So while the journey rollicks a bit, still it wends onward. I will get to where I want to be eventually, though the method may not be what I anticipated. I built a world, and now I want to share it.